Conversation with an old friend tonight. Never thought they would talk to me again. I felt it ended badly but I welcome them back with open arms. Does this make me weak? I don't want to go into details but I just feel like it was meant to be what it is and right now that is a facebook conversation. It felt good. I did miss them dearly.
Letter writing time.
Sorry such a sad short kind of entry.
Broke two felting needles and painted over a good part in my portrait...hmmm...monday? I think yes!
Love and peace, B
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
Mr. Darcy's Letter
Good evening ladies and gentlemen,
This weekend flew by. I feel like I have gotten quite a bit accomplished even if all it was was a few hours of painting and an artist statement. It is not ready for the public eye. But once it is I will post it. It goes under review Tuesday night in B.F.A. class. Oh man I am not have as worried about that as what Nancy, head of painting, will say. Hence why I am not sleeping at 1:41 in the am...sigh.
I think I made a very important decision over the weekend. I feel leaps and bounds older than I know I am but I feel different. Like this is a decision a grown up Bridget would make. Not ready to share it so you will just have to stay in suspense.
So I officially mucked up one painting this weekend and started another real good layer on another (knocking on wood as we speak.) It always feels good to go back to something you know you can and will succeed at when the other is going so horribly wrong and out of control.
Church felt good this morning. So, did the nap I took this afternoon. And studio tonight, well at least until I got hungry and remembered my artist statement I needed to edit.
Tomorrow I need to fit in a run. My legs are itching to get one in. Hmmm...hope tomorrow is a bit chilly. My favorite running weather!
I hear the sickness is in the air. I am trying to take care not to get it. I don't have time for it! I refuse and again knocking on wood as we speak...
Well I had more to say but I think my sketchbook will get it.
Love, B
This weekend flew by. I feel like I have gotten quite a bit accomplished even if all it was was a few hours of painting and an artist statement. It is not ready for the public eye. But once it is I will post it. It goes under review Tuesday night in B.F.A. class. Oh man I am not have as worried about that as what Nancy, head of painting, will say. Hence why I am not sleeping at 1:41 in the am...sigh.
I think I made a very important decision over the weekend. I feel leaps and bounds older than I know I am but I feel different. Like this is a decision a grown up Bridget would make. Not ready to share it so you will just have to stay in suspense.
So I officially mucked up one painting this weekend and started another real good layer on another (knocking on wood as we speak.) It always feels good to go back to something you know you can and will succeed at when the other is going so horribly wrong and out of control.
Church felt good this morning. So, did the nap I took this afternoon. And studio tonight, well at least until I got hungry and remembered my artist statement I needed to edit.
Tomorrow I need to fit in a run. My legs are itching to get one in. Hmmm...hope tomorrow is a bit chilly. My favorite running weather!
I hear the sickness is in the air. I am trying to take care not to get it. I don't have time for it! I refuse and again knocking on wood as we speak...
Well I had more to say but I think my sketchbook will get it.
Love, B
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Train in the distance.
This has been quite a week, roughed up mind body and soul.
I know you are probably joking but I take things seriously and it is not because I am a painter...It is just how I am. I really don't appreciate your sense of humor but I grin and bear it. I also don't appreciate your other remarks that are critical. I know at some point they must be said but they should be said with tacked.
Moving on. I just spent all day on something I had to scrap...My philosophy is if it is not working quit messing and mucking it up just melt it down and start again.
I had a visitor in studio and it was alright. I still prefer to have my own space and be in my own space. Well at least when I am working on my art.
Everyone seems to be having a rough couple of weeks. Its midterm already GAWH!!!
I need to get off here and go do something. Maybe go home get some sleep and start again tomorrow. I am just...I don't know? Just trying to keep my head above water.
Well peace and love,
B
I know you are probably joking but I take things seriously and it is not because I am a painter...It is just how I am. I really don't appreciate your sense of humor but I grin and bear it. I also don't appreciate your other remarks that are critical. I know at some point they must be said but they should be said with tacked.
Moving on. I just spent all day on something I had to scrap...My philosophy is if it is not working quit messing and mucking it up just melt it down and start again.
I had a visitor in studio and it was alright. I still prefer to have my own space and be in my own space. Well at least when I am working on my art.
Everyone seems to be having a rough couple of weeks. Its midterm already GAWH!!!
I need to get off here and go do something. Maybe go home get some sleep and start again tomorrow. I am just...I don't know? Just trying to keep my head above water.
Well peace and love,
B
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Acceptance.
Artist Bio:
I can remember sitting on my Grand Lee’s porch with my small hands in hers, after awhile she would say, “Bridget, you have such pretty little hands.” It was such a simple moment yet it was such a profound one. It was then that I began to look and see in a new way, in such a way as to see everyone and thing as beautiful, even myself.
Having been born and raised on a farm near Cummings, Kansas, to Tom and Pauline Lee. The farm up on the windy hill is where it all started for me. With my Older sister and brother, April and Thomas, and my younger sister, Kimberly, always jumping in to pitch a hand, we were never afraid of getting a little dirty. I learned to love the earthy feels and scents of the farm. Playing in dad’s tool box was always a favorite past time of mine, getting dirty and oily while always managing to misplace his socket wrench. He would pick me up, dust me off, and always manage to find that oily wrench hidden underneath something, somewhere.
It was also in the kitchen of the house where I continued my love of home feels and scents, whether it was baking pies with my mother, baking bread with my Grandmother Lee, or searing a pork chop with my Grandmother Weishaar. I know the feel of the lumpy dough and rare flesh under my hands, always either kneading or tenderizing. And always with an apron on or near by, I can still feel the 100% cotton on my skin and remember the scent of it, clean laundry, flour, and grease. It was here that my family helped nurture my love of art; however, it was not until I went to college that I began to think that this wide world of art was for me.
When I started here at Kansas State University, I applied as a secondary art education major. It was not until I took Introduction to Oil Painting that I walked in to the room and realized that it smelled like home. The oil paint felt like the greasy, blackness I would find in dads tool box, as well as, the feel of the brush in my hand working its way across the canvas felt like smoothing melted butter on top of the fresh baked bread. It was here, in this place, that I found acceptance.
____________________________________________________________________________
Nancy said something to me on Thursday. I knew this but sometimes when you are so close to your work it is hard to remember everything all the time. She said, "Bridget, people will accept things in paintings that they won't accept from an image, from reality. " Then she asked me, "is it important that people know these paintings are you? I mean if you showed in a gallery in New York would it be important for the viewers there to know it is you to understand the work?" "I think this work is about acceptance, not only of your body, but its almost like you have forgiven yourself for something."
Thats it. Acceptance. I want it so bad. I yearn for it, yet I almost don't want it if it costs all this much. I just want to scream at times. I am tired of running circles for certain people. This is my time to go, to do, to see, to be. If I feel like spending time on you then it is not wasted but I am learning to say no and be okay with it.
I am not pushing myself to my limits and this is unacceptable. I need to make goals and maintain them. I didn't get all the stuff done in studio I wanted. I am going tomorrow before we head out of town with Vicky.
I need my camera case, shoes, felting. I am going to needle felt on the way out of town. I need to sketch and research, oh and read two articles for Nancy. Hmm...yes. Alrighty well off to get something done.
Right or wrong, do something because to do nothing is to fail.
-B
I can remember sitting on my Grand Lee’s porch with my small hands in hers, after awhile she would say, “Bridget, you have such pretty little hands.” It was such a simple moment yet it was such a profound one. It was then that I began to look and see in a new way, in such a way as to see everyone and thing as beautiful, even myself.
Having been born and raised on a farm near Cummings, Kansas, to Tom and Pauline Lee. The farm up on the windy hill is where it all started for me. With my Older sister and brother, April and Thomas, and my younger sister, Kimberly, always jumping in to pitch a hand, we were never afraid of getting a little dirty. I learned to love the earthy feels and scents of the farm. Playing in dad’s tool box was always a favorite past time of mine, getting dirty and oily while always managing to misplace his socket wrench. He would pick me up, dust me off, and always manage to find that oily wrench hidden underneath something, somewhere.
It was also in the kitchen of the house where I continued my love of home feels and scents, whether it was baking pies with my mother, baking bread with my Grandmother Lee, or searing a pork chop with my Grandmother Weishaar. I know the feel of the lumpy dough and rare flesh under my hands, always either kneading or tenderizing. And always with an apron on or near by, I can still feel the 100% cotton on my skin and remember the scent of it, clean laundry, flour, and grease. It was here that my family helped nurture my love of art; however, it was not until I went to college that I began to think that this wide world of art was for me.
When I started here at Kansas State University, I applied as a secondary art education major. It was not until I took Introduction to Oil Painting that I walked in to the room and realized that it smelled like home. The oil paint felt like the greasy, blackness I would find in dads tool box, as well as, the feel of the brush in my hand working its way across the canvas felt like smoothing melted butter on top of the fresh baked bread. It was here, in this place, that I found acceptance.
____________________________________________________________________________
Nancy said something to me on Thursday. I knew this but sometimes when you are so close to your work it is hard to remember everything all the time. She said, "Bridget, people will accept things in paintings that they won't accept from an image, from reality. " Then she asked me, "is it important that people know these paintings are you? I mean if you showed in a gallery in New York would it be important for the viewers there to know it is you to understand the work?" "I think this work is about acceptance, not only of your body, but its almost like you have forgiven yourself for something."
Thats it. Acceptance. I want it so bad. I yearn for it, yet I almost don't want it if it costs all this much. I just want to scream at times. I am tired of running circles for certain people. This is my time to go, to do, to see, to be. If I feel like spending time on you then it is not wasted but I am learning to say no and be okay with it.
I am not pushing myself to my limits and this is unacceptable. I need to make goals and maintain them. I didn't get all the stuff done in studio I wanted. I am going tomorrow before we head out of town with Vicky.
I need my camera case, shoes, felting. I am going to needle felt on the way out of town. I need to sketch and research, oh and read two articles for Nancy. Hmm...yes. Alrighty well off to get something done.
Right or wrong, do something because to do nothing is to fail.
-B
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Artist Statement, 2012
Artist Resume, 2012
