It's okay to just walk away.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that.
Sometimes you need to walk away and be okay with it.
It's not fair to my paintings to push them to new heights before they are ready.
Not fair at all.

Sometimes I feel sophocated.
I feel like I jumped in head first.
Most of the time I am scared that one of these times I won't resurface.
Cryptic, yes.
True...yes.
Well,sometimes.

Most of the time I know everyone has my best interest at heart,
But sometimes I want to make my own mistakes.
Sometimes I grow tired and weary of tip toeing around things.
I just want to walk into a room without an elephant.

Change is never easy,
Especially for me.
I don't feel strong and I never feel like I do it with ease.
Sometimes I push things down...deep away.
I don't even like revealing those things with myself.
Those are real I feel.

Sometimes it's okay to just turn and walk away.
Sometimes.

-b

Walked into the room and the place lit up.

So Manndi is bad news for all of the lights in the house. She turns on a switch and they go out. sigh...I need to call Phil and have him come change them seeing we have really high ceilings and only a short step stool. One more thing to add to my To Do list.

I have a date at the rec with Ms. E. Peters. I am excited. I haven't seen her in a good while.

I had a phone date with Miss Simpson. All I have to say is <3 my bestest of friends. I haven't felt that good or had that much fun on the phone in a good long while.

So I have been taking stock in what I all have, not only in my life outside of studio but the one inside as well. One night last week I got an itch to move anything I wasn't painting on or with or had anything to do with my show out. That was like 98% of my studio...but I moved it all down three flights of steps to my sculpture studio and ended up bringing two boxes home. I am just ready for a change and I now have begun to realize I need to be the change. So It started by getting rid of a certian asain influence and it has grown into going for a run every afternoon, cleaning out studio, and getting back in touch with an aquantiance...this last one I am still unsure of but no harm no foul.

We had a bake sale for our Sculpture Alliance club. We raised over $300 and sold almost everything-Success! And us sculpture majors are headed to St. Louis for the weekend of November 19-21. It should be good. Jersey is from there so he knows his way around.

There was another story involving sculpture....OHHHhhh yeah! So Vicky needed windows open in our studio space, we share a room with a divider wall. She has the front half by the door and I have the back smaller half with the windows and doors to neighbooring studios. Anyway, she was going out for a smoke break and I thought I would be nice and open them. I went to go push open the top window and my hand slipped and went right through. I was not severly hurt, Thank goodness, just a few scratches and lots of bruising. Jersey patched me up.

I guess news about painting. So I am only working on five paintings. They are so big I know I am not going to get eight done. I am a realist underneath all of these big, optimistic dreams. Anyway, they are going good. everything has a slight green twinge which will soon be corrected. Its hard to explain but they need to go through this to be what they can be.

Stacey hooked me up with some new tunes. Citizen Cope is my new favorite. I love his voice and his chill sound.

What else, what else...oh I have a birthday coming up. Big 2-3! Manndi called me old the other night...nah, not old, not yet anyway. I am just living and loving it.

I need to write some letters and emails and get going to the rec.

Love, B