Michael is officially 6! And Mr. Logan Brandt turns 2 tomorrow! I made his card. LOVE IT! I forgot how much fun this stuff is, crafting with paper!
Called my D.O. not yesterday but the day before, she responded by immediately calling my G.M. So Mary is aware I no longer want to do the management program and am going home. She said she respected my decision. Tiffany is saying I should really talk to her. I have tried her twice more, no return call. To hell with it, thought about just emailing her so the ball would be in her court.
Started telling they guys they are taking it pretty well. One even said he wanted to have drinks before I left. Ha!
Nico made me some tasty tacos last night. I wasn't really hungry but when a man makes you fresh carne you don't say no. I shared my last one with him though.
I was out last night, out like a light. Nico said I snored a little...and talked. Can't help it, he has a pillow top mattress and it is like sleeping on a little piece of heaven.
I really want to make cookies, big chocolate chip ones! Maybe with a few pecans...mmmm.
I have started watching this new series on Netflix, Bitten, only one episode in. Wish Kim was here to watch it with me. She probably already has.
I tried calling my D.O., Mary, this morning. I left a message on her voicemail. I hope she gives me a call back. I know she is stressed but I have need to know information. Like oh hey! Don't count on me I am tapping out end of July!
Had a good day at work yesterday. Alex was the CP, Nico was on line and I was prep. It was fun. I miss working with Alex. Afterwards he needed a lift to the liquor store and the bank, free lunch was a perk! Taco Lucha, peanut butter tacos, so good!
Went on a luggage hunt with Allison. She needed to find a BIG suitcase to pack for a month to go home. She found one, a purple Coleman.
Went home and made a birthday card for Michael Rose. She will be SIX tomorrow! I need to mail off her gift. It is interactive, Rapunzel swings by her hair! I still need to make a train Birthday card for Logan, his birthday is Saturday. Tonights project.
I had a fellow employee call me a 'quitter' tonight. I came in to see my favorite manager before she took a week off for her brother's wedding and we were just talking and were so rudely interrupted by Greg yelling that at me.
I asked, "Excuse me?"
He got all quiet and defensive and said, "I was just trying to get your attention." He just walked away.
This is my response to that,
"Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong." -Elle Fitzgerald
"Of all the stratagems, to know when to quit is the best." -Chinese Proverb
"A damn fool is one who won't change his mind." -Tom Lee
I no longer want to be around people who don't support me 100%!
I have learned that the hard way over this past year. You are either with me or not. No half way bull shit. I support those who choose to stay, Hell, I did for three long years. It is not what I want for my life. I want to go home where my love and inspiration blossomed. I need to be around all of that unconditional love. I need to figure out what I really want and I cannot do that in a place that is so negative, it is dragging me down...not raising me up.
“Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today?” ― Mary Manin Morrissey
I need to start packing certain stuff up and taking it to the good will. Sending studio stuff home.
I would love to live in my grandmothers house but I just remembered how the hot water heater leaks....hmmm :/
Megs was asking me about Nico and staying and being a substitute teacher. I know she doesn't want me to leave but I cannot do anything but ask the man I love to go with me. He wants to stay here for now. However, he fully supports me going home and helping and living for a while. I love him all the more for that. Things always have a way of working out.
June is rapidly approaching. It will officially be a year since I broke things off with Jorge. And in August it will officially be a year for Nico and I. That seems crazy. I feel like time has sort of stood still for Nico and I.
Enough mush.
I cannot wait to go home and have a bonfire with my girls. Sort of like a cleansing ritual. I won't let it go till it burns.
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On a much happier note, Nico and I spent the whole day together. I drove us to KC MO to drop off his piano keyboards to his cousin to fix. We had lunch at this very authentic Mexican restaurant. Everyone started at us as we walked in. I am starting to get used to this. I almost didn't notice the 13 gapping mouths and the 26 bulging eyeballs on us. We drove back and I asked if I could stop off at the Topeka mall to find a dress for Kylee's Bachelorette party. We walked the whole mall, finally in Sears he found one and I tried it on. I purchased it. Loved it! A black lacy number. Not too revealing, or old lady, I will have fun dressing it up with gold! He found a really nice pair of Levi's. I love my man in Levi's, nothing sexier.
Just finished dessert with Michele and Allison at work. Love my ladies.
The peonies are in bloom. I walked to work and back yesterday afternoon and just paused and closed my eyes and breathed in deep. It is such a lovely smell. The weather wasn't too hot or too cold it was perfect and with that smell it brought back many wonderful childhood memories. It was so hard not to go pluck a few from the neighbors bushes.
I got dressed and had breakfast in record time this morning. I probably could have slept another 15 minutes. Oh well, I am scheduled for truck, probably should go get my coat and gloves together. I know Chris will ask that I do the freezer. No one else likes to do that area, ever!
I gave my hiring manager my tentative "two weeks." I also have written to mom and dad.
I am no longer allowed to blog so late at night after sitting up trying to figure out my life in a few short hours.
Had dinner with my friend Linda this evening. I dog sit for her every summer. Come this first week of June I will be sitting pool side sipping on something awesome watching some pups.
Bought dad some acorn squash seeds that I will mail home this week.
I need to go get some water color paper. I like painting cards. I need to finish mom's barn tray.
I found this art installation and I wish I could go leave anonymous confessions.
I had a filling re filled today, apparently over time they wear down and need to be replaced. My dentist is pretty legit, I swear once I was numb it only took 20 minutes. I hate when one side of my mouth is numb. I guess I don't really know anyone who likes it?
Well going to go brush my pearly whites and take out my contacts. I have a wicked head ache. I am going to go lie down and maybe slip into slumberland a bit early this evening.
Thank you 90's station for giving me such good tunes to blog too.
I had a moment yesterday. One of those 'OH Shit' moments, what am I going to do with my life???
I started thinking about all the stuff I will need to pay for come Kylee's wedding and all the stuff I want to purchase and I still have three months to go before I pay off my iMac. And I want a table saw and a new roll of Canvas. BLAH! One of those 'OH Shit' moments...
My General Manager is quitting come end of May, beginning of June. I might see about taking a month off come the end of the summer and going home to help dad and mom but I also think I might want to go back to school. I think I want to go back and maybe education or possibly a modern language? Spanish would be very useful in todays world. I might see if I can set up a meeting with an advisor, and see if I can still use my prerequisites still would count? that means I would only have to do the major content and then the two blocks? That sounds like a good option and after that I would be guaranteed a teaching job. I might have to go check it out. I have been thinking about for about a year now but I never thought I would go back.
I told Nico I was thinking about moving back home and he said it was ok. I should do what I need to do and he was like as long as you come back and see me :) oh of course you silly boy. Love him.
Last night he called me about 1:45 am and asked if I would come give him a ride home from Finns. I said of course and went and got him. Went back to his house and he asked if I was hungry and wanted a quesadilla? I said sure. He made me cheese quesadillas with scrambled eggs with tomatoes and jalapenos. It was fun. I kept trying to help and he just took and sat me down and said, "NO, I am cooking for you. "
After a very late dinner we were laying in bed and he rolled over and asked if I was really moving home. I told him I think so. It just seemed like the right thing to do. He just stared at the ceiling a moment longer then turned and pulled me close. He said I want you to marry me before you leave. I got quiet and he was like I don't want to marry you for papers. I want you always to be mine and come back to me. Keep in mind he was intoxicated and people say silly stuff when they are under the influence but it made my heart swell for this man. He treats me so well. Don't worry folks, I am not getting married anytime soon. However, it was a sweet gesture.
Made my own Maxi skirt today. It was fun and a bit frustrating, like any good crafty/artsy project. The waist is a bit loose, nothing a good wash and dry won't fix I think.
Well lots to think about.
Had Monday night wings with Allison then looked at some flowers with Megs.
It feels good to have finally made a decision about the direction my life is going to take. Sigh of relief and a BIG weight off my shoulders.
Every time I started to get frustrated at work tonight, I kept reminding myself, only two more months.
HA! That's all folks!
I couldn't be happier to escape from that place. I am almost giddy with excitement. How did I ever think that was my calling?
Ha. Sheesh, what a dumbie.
I am just plain finished. I will miss my boys and two of my managers but good riddance to the rest.
I slept so good last night.
I haven't told Nico yet. Part of me wants to stay and get an apartment with him and his friend, but I know where I need to be and that is home.
My artsy soul craves to be back at the roots. Table saw...soon it will be just you and me and I will be able to order a fresh roll of canvas! OHHHHhhhh BOYYYYY!
Listening to my 90's Pop Radio on Pandora, Jewel is coming up quite often. Thanks Pandora.
It is hard to believe it has been almost a year since I have posted on this thing. Couldn't really call me a consistent blogger, huh?
I posted some new images of my Sculpture BFA show. This happened December 2012. I have been crafting since then. I did get a new easel for Christmas from my parents but have yet to really put it to use, I mean, other then a bra drying mechanism, that is.
I have some new ideas for sculpture work and I also have many ideas for paintings but I need to get to a location where I can actually paint and be inspired to paint, not only paint but just work. I have three more months and my iMac is paid off, I have an idea of my next big purchase and that would be a table saw! Hopefully I can talk dad into helping me retrieve and store one, shouldn't be too hard.
My Uncle Richard has passed away, or rather passed on, March 12, 2012. He is now with his Brother Joe, and his Mother and Father, Marie and John Lee. Never thought he would go. All those Lee boys just seem tough as nails until one day, they aren't.
Went home this past weekend. Saturday was spent in KC with Scottee, Kylee and various relatives and another bridesmaid picking out dresses for us all. The lace, mint one it is. I like it. Look better in Mint then I thought I was going to! Especially when I get me one of those neat spray tans!
Scottee and Kylee
Being Silly with my Kindred Spirit
The rest of the weekend was spent at home with Mom, Dad, Aunt Rosie, Thomas, Rach, and the kiddos. That is where I want to be again. That is where I am my happiest. Kylee and Scottee are there as well. Perfection, or so it would seem. I planted garden, mowed grass, helped dad care for some sick calves, mushroom hunted, was an honorary bee keeper, and various other adventures. Memories made for sure. I don't want any more time to get away from me where I am not surrounded by those whom I love the most. Home is where my heart is.
Make a wish
So Precious
Beautifully windswept
Happy Early Mothers day to my Mother, Pauline. Love you more than words. I hope this is the last mothers day we will be apart.
