"Quitter."

"Dreams," by The Cranberries

I had a fellow employee call me a 'quitter' tonight. I came in to see my favorite manager before she took a week off for her brother's wedding and we were just talking and were so rudely interrupted by Greg yelling that at me. 

I asked, "Excuse me?" 

He got all quiet and defensive and said, "I was just trying to get your attention." He just walked away. 

This is my response to that,   

"Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong." -Elle Fitzgerald

"Of all the stratagems, to know when to quit is the best." -Chinese Proverb

"A damn fool is one who won't change his mind." -Tom Lee

I no longer want to be around people who don't support me 100%!

I have learned that the hard way over this past year. You are either with me or not. No half way bull shit. I support those who choose to stay, Hell, I did for three long years. It is not what I want for my life. I want to go home where my love and inspiration blossomed. I need to be around all of that unconditional love. I need to figure out what I really want and I cannot do that in a place that is so negative, it is dragging me down...not raising me up. 

“Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today?” ― Mary Manin Morrissey

I need to start packing certain stuff up and taking it to the good will. Sending studio stuff home. 

I would love to live in my grandmothers house but I just remembered how the hot water heater leaks....hmmm :/

Megs was asking me about Nico and staying and being a substitute teacher. I know she doesn't want me to leave but I cannot do anything but ask the man I love to go with me.  He wants to stay here for now. However, he fully supports me going home and helping and living for a while. I love him all the more for that. Things always have a way of working out. 

June is rapidly approaching. It will officially be a year since I broke things off with Jorge. And in August it will officially be a year for Nico and I. That seems crazy. I feel like time has sort of stood still for Nico and I. 

Enough mush. 

I cannot wait to go home and have a bonfire with my girls. Sort of like a cleansing ritual. I won't let it go till it burns. 

__________________________________   

On a much happier note, Nico and I spent the whole day together. I drove us to KC MO to drop off his piano keyboards to his cousin to fix. We had lunch at this very authentic Mexican restaurant. Everyone started at us as we walked in. I am starting to get used to this. I almost didn't notice the 13 gapping mouths and the 26 bulging eyeballs on us. We drove back and I asked if I could stop off at the Topeka mall to find a dress for Kylee's Bachelorette party. We walked the whole mall, finally in Sears he found one and I tried it on. I purchased it. Loved it! A black lacy number. Not too revealing, or old lady, I will have fun dressing it up with gold! He found a really nice pair of Levi's. I love my man in Levi's, nothing sexier. 

Just finished dessert with Michele and Allison at work. Love my ladies. 

night, b